From where I am seated, I can see the sun set..and I say to myself, the day is ending. I always ask myself at this part of the day: "What have I done today?" and I always end up smiling as a response to my own question and I wouldn't know for the world what the smile meant.
Living in a world like mine is quite average. Although I wasn't given the chance to choose the things I want to become, but still I was provided with everything I wanted. It sounds really difficult but it's not... really. I just happen to have a lot of things in mind and dreams that I want to fulfill. Just that, I feel a little disappointed of myself.
Have you ever felt at some point in your life you feel you have not done anything meaningful? Yeah, I mean everybody does a lot of things in a day but its not the same when you accomplish something that means a lot to you. The significance is of 90 to 10 percent comparison.
I am the youngest in the family and everyone treats me like a baby. Sometimes it bothers me but most of the time, it doesn't. I love the feeling of depending. I know it sounds like I'm a useless person but hey, I didn't choose to be one. Honestly, I am trying to outgrow that stage because in reality I am truning 21 and the stage of becoming a baby has got to end, and got to end FAST.
Life has closing cycles and I know when one stage is about to end; Sometimes I just deny it to myself that it has to. I know it sounds so bitter of me to act like a kid while a lot of people suffer because of my attitude towards growing up.I admit I feel bad but sometimes I just feel so scared. I just don't know why... But I have realized that because of how I'm living my life now- eventually, it will make people feel bad seeing myself at a standstill.
"It is always important to know when something has reached its end. Closing circles, shutting doors, finishing chapters, it doesn't matter what we call it;What matters is to leave in the past those moments in life that are over."(The Zahir)
The chapter of my life that is about to and MUST begin starts with the acceptance of the reality of growing up. Whatever choices I have made in the past, Whether I broke other people's hearts or got my heart broken it wouldn't matter now. This is a new chapter, a new page waiting to be filled in. I can't live my life like a kid forever. I have to move on and challenge myself for bigger and harder tasks.
"I have to grow up." - it sounds so obvious. Difficult, YES... but it is important.
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